你寫得有點論盡，第一句己經覺得好奇怪

不如改成：I am gald to appreciate a staff of your company, xxx......

而後者就簡單一點

字句上可以再repharse,靚啲

[ 本帖最後由 woo 於 2011-3-2 06:44 PM 編輯 ]

that's even worst...glad to commend....
The one that your friend told you is not bad, but change
It is my high pleasure to been service by xxx and i hope that we can continue enjoy the hight quality service from your company and your perfect staff.

to

It was a pleasure to be assisted by xxx and i hope that we can continue enjoy the hight quality service from your company and your perfect staff.

你果封唔係用書面言...你只要轉做中文跟手睇下同你直接寫封中文commendation有咩分別就知.

除grammar問題外好老實講....你個寫法好"白"... 甚至有點兒"粗皮"既感覺... 唔係一封正式書面信應用既語氣/字眼囉....

你個fd果封比較好, 不過佢文化有錯

Let me shortly introduce myself, my name is XXXXXXX one of your customer who had about 2years cooperation with your company.
This letter is write to commend one of your staff-xxx.
It is my high pleasure to been service by xxx and i hope that we can continue enjoy the hight quality service from your company and your perfect staff.

customer 應該寫成 customers
about 應該寫成 around
write 應該寫成 written

[ 本帖最後由 【Kira-Yamato】 於 2011-3-2 11:45 PM 編輯 ]

幅信一開頭就畫蛇添足啦,下款都寫明你係邊個啦,唔好再寫啦
所幾應該改成咁會好D

To whom it may concern,

I am one of your customers who had about 2 years cooperation with your company.
This letter is writen to commend one of your staff-xxx(加D資料會好D,如分店,POST,DIRECT LINE等等).
It is my high pleasure to be served/servicced by xxx and i hope that we can continue enjoy the high quality service from your company and your perfect staff.

Best regards,
XXX
下加你公司資料&聯絡方法

(REMARKS:要加番令你滿意既地方)

[ 本帖最後由 冥界之王 於 2011-3-3 12:26 AM 編輯 ]

我想講既係.

留意tense.. 同verb form., 仲有d 復數 "s"

仲有試下加入以下既字眼
experience
delighted
satisfy (satifaction)
helpful

[ 本帖最後由 VampireA 於 2011-3-3 12:37 AM 編輯 ]

keywords used to search on web: recommendation letter  
會找到很多網址教你寫，還有很多例子。
做好再登出來交流。

有少少意見.........

老實講..........兩封.....都不知所謂......

第一封....好似用廣東話寫出o黎....翻譯做中文....再用 online 翻譯機翻譯做英文..........

第二封......好似叫完雞......打電話俾雞頭讚佢o的女女........ my high pleasure ...... service by xxx......continue enjoy ........ service ....... perfect staff......

我自己o的英文好雞......只係個人感覺....唔好見怪......

如果咁..........會唔會好o的.....

This is Mr.xxx from yyy company which engaged your services over two year.

I write to you to show my gratitude to your company's professional services. Especially Mr.zzz from qqq department, he is always deliver timely and constructive response for our enquires. His experience and foresight always offering good advices on our work/task/problem.

I would like to say that your company with all quality staff would benefit our business.

Best,

XXX

It should be more specific, since it is too general.

How does he help you sooner than you expect?

"I've seen him helping me and fulfill his promise when I have any problems."<-- what thing happen to make you write these words?


"Dear Sir:

Let me shortly introduce myself, my name is XXXXXXX one of your customer who had about 2years cooperation with your company.
This letter is write to commend one of your staff-xxx.
It is my high pleasure to been service by xxx and i hope that we can continue enjoy the hight quality service from your company and your perfect staff.


Best Regards
XXXXXXX"

This is too general, too

有少少grammar mistakes,不過總體比起上兩者簡單直接順眼舒服
幫你修改少少,希望唔介意

This is Mr.xxx from yyy company which had two year cooperation .

I would like to show my gratitude to your company's professional services, especially Mr.zzz from qqq department, who always delivers timely and constructive responses for our enquires. His experience and foresight always offer good advices on our work/task.

I am sure our business can be benefited by your company with outstanding staff.(可以加啲祝福寄望句子)
Best,

XXX

上hkml學英文.... 真喺要讚!